Faith

I'm not usually one to write about religion because I don't really know a whole lot about religion. I know that I was raised Christian and I'd say my morals are guided by Christian principles. I haven't been to church in roughly 5 years, but I am a firm believer that going to a building to worship doesn't make you any more of a religious person than someone who devotes time to God, or another higher power in their home. I think people struggle with religion and faith and spirituality because we have so many options, people telling us one thing is better than the other. However, over the past few years, I've come to realize that a set religion, such as Christianity, isn't important, but having faith or belief in something, anything, is what is important. Dustin, the man I used to date, is Pagan and while I don't know much about the religion, I know he believes in something, has faith in some higher being. To me, this extremely important because in all honesty, you can't do things on your own, nobody has enough friends or family to lean on all the time. I think somewhere in my youth I lost sight of my faith and I've tried to find it again. Over and over.

I struggle with the constructs of certain Christian ideals, including the Bible. I've often argued that it needs to be updated, contemporized. I have a difficult time understand "uber" Christians who to me, are not in touch with reality or the changing world around them. With that said, I envy, to a certain extent, people who are incredibly in touch with their religious beliefs. What I've realized in regards to that is that I envy people who can have faith in something that could be totally made up. A complete hoax. But faith is what grounds these people, faith in something whether real or imagined, faith that someone is watching over them.

And it's faith that has helped me though. Through a breakup that I thought I was over, thought was good and thought I had a grasp on. Through graduate school. Through my doubts, disbeliefs, and disasters. Through long runs and lazy afternoons. Faith in something. I'm not even sure what. I do believe that a higher being is watching over me, guiding me, helping me through the day. Someone I can talk to, knows all about me and has a master plan for me. A plan I don't know about and one I'll never know to its entirety. But I have faith. Faith gets me through my day.